Kailali incident has inter-ethnic families worried

DANG, August 29: Prem Chaudhary of Satbariya is married to a Chhetri girl. Their marriage is not only a union of two individuals but that of two families. Their love affair brought two geographically and culturally diverse families together. Since the establishment of the bond between them, a Tharu and Chhetri families have shared their love and respect for each other.

None of them have faced offensive behavior from each other and to these days have moved ahead together with mutual respect for each other. "We pay visits to each other's family and our ethnicity has never been a barrier in nurturing our relationship," Prem said adding that he "hopes that this relation will not be affected by the ongoing political tensions."

Shanker Basnet of the same village had eloped with his love from the Tharu community 20 years ago. But in their two decades of matrimonial relationship, Basnet's family has maintained healthy relationship with his in laws. The same has been the case on part of his in laws too. "Never has my family belittled my wife's relations in the name of ethnicity," said Basnet. "It doesn't matter if I am Chhetri and she's Tharu. At the end of the day what matters is that our identity is not restricted to caste but that to humanity" he added.

Prem and Shanker are just exemplary cases from Dang's society that has been open to relations between Tharu and hilly communities. Marriages between the two communities are not only arranged through elopement, but also through family consent. Community gatekeepers claim that these marriages between the communities has played great role in strengthening bonds between them.

Tharu culture analyst Ashok Tharu says that marriage between Dang's Tharu and hilly people has been taking place since the time of Junga Bahadur Rana. "A treaty signed during the rule of Junga Bahadur Rana, shows he approved marriage between Yogi caste woman and a Tharu man" said Ashok. "But even then there had been strong opposition from the Bhramins" he added.

Although the marriages were happening since the Rana times, it was only after 1973 that it became widespread. "But even then couples had to run away to get married," Ashok informed. "But in the past few years, more and more marriages are taking place with consent of both families. This has been strengthening the relation between the two communities" said Prem. "We believe such bonding should not be restrained in the name of caste," he added.

Prem's brother had also married a Chhetri girl from Bardiya 15 years ago. He expresses sadness over the recent disturbance in the region over ethnicity. "History has seen witness bonding between diverse communities has always prospered for both," said Ashok, "but violence in name of ethnicity has not only threatened to break existing bonds between the communities but might also sow seed for long term violence." He called on Tharu community gatekeepers to maintain temperament and opined that the government must be more responsible on resolving such conflicts.

Its not only Tharus but people belonging to other communities are also equally concerned over the recent unrest. Basnet expressed fears that the ongoing political tensions could even tarnish family relationships between members from both communities. "I hope tomorrow no one will have to face discrimination on the basis of ethnicity and identifying some one as a daughter of Tharu or hill people," he said. "The ancient relationship between the communities should be strengthened not strained," he said opining that the "Tharu community members should not opt for violent protest means and the government should facilitate dialogue to bring all people together."

Over the years, there have been no incidences of caste or ethnic based violence claims Prem. But members from both of these communities fear that the recent Kailali protest may affect cordial relationships between them. This concern has mainly been troubling people from the rural region. Budhini Chaudhary who had arrived to Ghorahi to sell vegetables was worried over her relation with the hilly people bearing brunt of the Tikapur incident. "I sell my vegetables to people from hills and I wish that I can continue to do that" she said. "Talking about Dang, the Tharu people and hilly people are both interdependent upon each other. And no one wants the relation to be soured under any circumstance" she added.

Ashok finds that differences between Tharu and hilly community have faded over the years. But as people have started fighting for ethnic rights, disparities among communities are becoming more evident. "I am a Tharu and I don't oppose their cause. But I can't accept the path of violence that they have chosen to fulfill their demands," Ashok said. "Fighting in the name of ethnicity won't benefit anyone. Instead goodwill for each other can help both communities to grow and prosper."