She tells me, “Feminism is a collection of movements aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights for women. In addition, feminism seeks to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment.”[break]
But, on another note, nowhere in this definition or the numerous books I’ve read on feminism have I come up with a meaning that says, “Feminism is a collection of movements directed against men for feminists hate men.”
Yes, essentially, the fight of feminism revolves around equality issues, and yes, feminists feel strongly that women haven’t had much say in history and there is a full intention to change that belief system.
However, to conclude that being a feminist equals to hating men is as bizarre an idea as hating chocolates because it correlates with weight gain.
Of course, “feminism,” very broadly speaking, is merely a school of thought; and how we define feminism differs according to context. But I personally feel that every woman, at the heart of it, is a feminist in her own right.
She’s a feminist for she understands what it means to see other woman suffer; she’s a feminist for she seeks opportunities to prove her competence; she’s a feminist for she believes in uniting for womanhood.
So, no, we don’t have to go on a “boo men” kind of protest to be feminists. It has more to do with a matter of the heart that shows itself when someone says, “She’s a girl. How will she do it?!”
It has more to do with showing you that we, like you, at least have the capacity to attempt our hands at something, regardless of the results; that we start off on the same level as you, even though you may end up doing a better job eventually (which will be taken in good spirits by us, do be assured of that!) It has more to do with being provided equal opportunities.
Now that sounds pretty hardcore. It also sounds like a perfect little speech to fend off insecure men, with all due respect to all the men out there. But this is something that my girlfriends and I often discuss. All of us are in healthy relationships, by the way, despite having the feminism thing going for us.
But not all of us go out on rallies on March 8, and we never, till date, have done anything significant with which we can call ourselves “feminists.” But we all feel a certain affiliation to feminism in general, like any woman would surely do. So we call ourselves feminists.
But surprisingly, this seems to be a notion that can get most men quite queasy (and if you aren’t one of them, then good for you and good for us; but ask around, I’m sure you know someone who knows someone who prefers being away from “feminists.”)
That’s why while we were in our intense debate on the topic, a random – let me point out again that a strange man that none of us knew – walked up to us and decided to entertain us with his dubious debate.
“Feminists, ahh…they are just ludicrous single women. Their bunch just needs boyfriends.”
Now, as a word of advice, if you ever dare be so inane as to walk up to a group of girls and ridicule feminism in front of them, it might not be one of your best nights.
Even before he had progressed on to his logic, all sorts of attacks were being thrown at him. The what-s and whys and wherefores were flying in from all directions.
The man was all smiles for he got the attention he coveted. Smart of him, I must admit.
And then he proposed that feminists are basically very masculine beings in their approach. They are vocal, argumentative, fierce (I was thinking more along the lines of women giving men a complex, but I wanted to hear his theory) and that their arguments are invalid in this egalitarian world we live in today.
Okay, we’re argumentative and fierce when it comes to things we’re emotionally attached to. But in no way do we compromise on our fashion elements while doing it. Hell, we argue on heels and look hot doing it!
Also, I don’t know what world he’s living in, but in the world that I’m in, we continuously hear stories of women’s abuses. 21st century or not, we are still very savage in our ways sometimes.
So we fight. We fight for one of us; we fight for all of us. We had heard what this misguided man had to say, but we no longer entertained him. If people were really thinking like this narrow-minded man, then somebody needs to give him a wakeup call.
And just so his despairing spirit didn’t affect us, we called for another round of drinks, raised our martinis high in the air and celebrated and embraced womanhood.
Three cheers to being women and another three cheers to feminism!
Ayushma Basnyat is a student of Political Science at Thammasat University who enjoys exploring life and all that it has to offer.
Related story
Can men be feminists?
