What is it really to be happy? I haven’t exactly been the ideal example of a happy person for most of my life but as time rolled by, I realized a couple of things. First, that sometimes, it’s good to be selfish – to put yourself in the front of every situation. Giving has its virtues, but at the risk of sounding obnoxious and probably amoral to many, I have to admit that the day I decided to do things ‘my way’ and as long as I understood the repercussions of my actions and it still felt good, I am entitled to have it that way![break]
As extreme a notion as it may come across as, if you give it some thought, it might as well be just as reasonable because in the end, everything we do, say, believe in or enjoy are born out of an inherent desire to make our lives nothing but happy! Take for example, jobs. It is no news that many working people don’t enjoy what they do at all but it pays them well; there are others who work for peanuts but absolutely love what they do. The former group lives for weekends and holidays to catch up on their lives, bicker through the week, and then Thank God It’s Friday! The latter enjoy everyday of their lives because they are passionate about what they do and find joy in their work. Work doesn’t seem like a chore to them.
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Teresa Amabile, a Harvard Business School professor wrote in a New York Times op-ed article, and I quote – “Working adults spend more of their waking hours at work than anywhere else. Work should ennoble, not kill, the human spirit. Promoting workers’ well-being isn’t just ethical; it makes economic sense. Fostering positive inner lives sometimes requires leaders to better articulate meaning in the work for everyone across the organization.”
The idea is not to sound preachy or spiritual when I say to be productive and at peace with ourselves, we need to find joy in the little things in life. Most of us are plagued by the larger picture we’re working towards, by the many unanswered questions, by our dreams and ambitions that we inadvertently take no notice of what we have at hand right now. The present is, more often than not, taken for granted.
I was traveling with a friend in an auto in the Delhi heat when a small girl came to us at a traffic light, asking for us to buy a bouquet of wildflowers. I was half ignorant but my friend offered her the chilled cold drink she had. The little girl smiled and handed her a couple of flowers and said “aap bahut acche ho!” (You are very nice). In those few innocuous moments, they made each other’s day!
My school English teacher and guide used to tell us that what’s important is not just to do extraordinary things but be extraordinary in ordinary things. I have come to believe that it’s just as true to how we observe happiness. Waiting on the big ‘achievements,’ like getting through a college of your choice, marrying the one you love, becoming the CEO of a Fortune500 company, becoming one of the richest people, writing a bestseller, or painting the next ‘Starry Night’ are definitely joyous occasions we all strive for but they are few and far between.
Don Draper, the leading ad man character from the TV drama series “Mad Men,” says, “What is happiness? It’s a moment before you need more happiness” That moment, when you have dinner with an old friend, when your grandfather recovers from a knee surgery to walk like a young man, when you watch a 4D movie for the first time, when you unexpectedly see a mountain behind the huge cloud cover that suddenly clears out, when the sea slaps against your foot which is buried in the white sand shore, when your taxi driver stops his car to help a blind person cross the street, or when a good joke is cracked. It is in these surprisingly trifling moments that happiness resides and life happens – in the here and now, not then and when.
We need to treat happiness as a constant state of mind, a way of living rather than an achievement. When I understood this, I decided to note down what made me happy each day to remind myself to find happiness within me and not seek it from someone or someplace else and at the most unassuming times!
The scrumptious breakfast in front me makes me happy right now. What is it that you’re happy about in this instant?
The writer has the mind of a maverick and fancies challenging the limits of her thoughts
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