As the mixed family starts their tour, Jyoti, the youngest in the group, grabs Haley’s little finger. She had only met him a month ago when he took Lila and Laxmi for a visit to her village in Dhangadhi. As she lifts her head to look at the tall figure, she says nothing but smiles.
“She does that a lot: come up to me, stare right into my eyes and give me a bright happy smile. It nearly breaks me down,” says Haley, who is known to most of them in the US as a celebrity chef, but here to Laxmi, Leela and now Jyoti , he is their buwa.
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When, Haley, who had struggled through poverty most of his life, finally started garnering success in his restaurant business in East Coast in the US, he realized that he still wasn’t happy. So, while he was searching for something that would make his life more meaningful, that something found him instead- the children.
During one of the charity events in Atlanta organized by Himalayan Children Charities (HCC), an American non-profit organization working with Nepalese Children’s Organization (NCO), a Nepali non-governmental institution with orphanages in various regions throughout Nepal, Haley had been invited as a guest chef. There, his brother showed him a photograph of two orphaned girls from Nepal. Having gone through a rough and deprived childhood himself, Haley immediately felt a connection and says he knew his life had changed the moment he saw the two smiling faces peering at him through the photograph.
At the event, he agreed to sponsor the girls and as time went by the bond grew and now the girls regard him as their father. Haley, however, had no clue back then that these girls would become the reason he would travel half way round the world, meet new bunch of joyous kids, cook meals for them, reunite them with their families, and the reason he would get ‘involved’ in the life of many deprived children.
“I grew up in an abusive family and was a junkie most of my life. But I came clean and have been sober for 20 years now. And as my mentor had said, ‘The best way to help yourself is to help others,’” he shares. “So, I don’t consider what I do for the kids as help, but as getting involved to improve their life, because in the end I’m the one getting help.”
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At Khusi Ghar (House of Joy), a two-year transit home in Sukedhara, he is the beloved Matt Uncle for about 40 HCC-sponsored kids from Bal Mandir, a children’s home in Naxal. The home, supported by HCC, is managed by Creating Possibilities (CP) Nepal, a Nepali social organization working for the marginalized children and women in Nepal.
“Children in Bal Mandir are under their custody till they turn 18. So among the 40 kids sponsored by HCC, the younger ones stay in hostels of their boarding schools and the older ones who have been discharged from Bal Mandir are placed in this home,” says Deepak Raj Sapkota, board member of CP, “Here they stay for two years learning to live life beyond an orphanage.”
The home currently houses seven youngsters. It also is a place where the sponsored kids come and enjoy during their school holidays or vacations.
Man Maya, one of the girls staying at Khusi Ghar showed around the home, which has clean and cozy rooms and also a basketball court. “It’s quite boring around here when the little kids are at the hostel as we just study and hang out. When the little kids are here, we run around looking after them, but it’s fun,” she says smiling.
Haley also likes to organize fun and educational activities at the home, like a poetry and performance night they recently had with some Nepali slam poets. During these programs, Haley volunteers to prepare special dinners with the older kids helping out in the kitchen as he teaches them all about cooking and food.
Cooking was definitely Haley’s first love and you can see how in love he is with it whenever he is preparing or just talking about food. Even when he’s traveling around the remotest part of Nepal and Asia for his charity works, he makes sure that he learns about the food culture and share his cooking knowledge.
“I would work day and night in restaurants at minimal wage just so I could learn to cook,” he shares, “Thankfully, the hard work paid off and all my restaurants have been successful. I love what I do and I care for my business as the revenue from there is what enables me to do a lot of this stuff here.”
Haley, who has been with HCC now for more than three years, is involved in various non-profit organizations back in the US as well. With corruption everywhere, he says, he has to be smart while managing the aid.
“When you’re providing aid for a cause, you don’t want to be like those soccer moms, pretending to help,” says Haley, “My way is to get my hands dirty to see the results for myself and see to it that the aid is actually helping those in need.”
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Haley, who visits Nepal twice every year, also recently traveled to Dhangadhi where Lila and Laxmi, his foster daughters live. There they reunited with their sisters and an ill mother; that’s where they met the little one- Jyoti.
“Lila and Laxmi were given away to the orphanage by the eldest sister after their father passed away,” says Haley.“We knew they had an elder sister in the village, but turns out they had six other sisters. When the girls reunited with their family after almost six years, it was a sight to see. Everyone was in tears.”
After the visit, they decided that the youngest girl, Jyoti should be placed in a good school in Kathmandu, so now she is studying in the same school with her two sisters.
The three sisters now have a bright future to look forward to and Haley is more than happy to provide for them.
“I believe that our lives are significant and even small things we do can make a difference,” Haley says. If it weren’t for the help from his mentor, he believes he wouldn’t have been here and hopes that his being here makes a positive difference in what these kids will do later.
“I’m grateful for what I’ve been through and received in my life, because it made me who I am now. And now, this is my way of giving back,” he said before he left for the US.
Haley will be back in October for more travels, food culture and most importantly, the kids. Till then, he carries along with him a lot of memories, thousands of pictures and a special handmade card, filled with gratitude, love and care.
“You are the kindest father we could have”- reads the card, and below it reads: From- Your loving daughters - Lila, Laxmi and Jyoti.
Editor’s Note: The names of the children have been changed to protect privacy.
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