In some communities, betrothal that takes place at an age of five or six is regarded as binding (marriage follows later). A man may remarry after being widowed, but custom forbids women to do so although the laws allow it. [break]
In the Tarai region of Nepal, there are many child widows because of the practice of such betrothals and child marriage. And while a man can remarry after the death of his wife, women in most cases are subjected to almost intolerable abuses.
Traditionally, women are expected to bear sons (not daughters), who may provide support when the parents get old and offer them pindas (small balls of rice placed on the ancestral shrine) after their death.
The law of Manu states, ”Women were created to be mothers.” But the position of a wife may be pitiable if the children she gives births to turn out to be all girls, or worse, if she cannot conceive. The fact that a girl is usually married off and goes on to live with her husband also seems to affect parents’ preference for boys over girls.
Marriage is expected of every devout Muslim. The Prophet is believed to have said, “Marry women who will love their husbands and be very prolific, for I wish you to be more numerous than any other people.”
A Muslim may have four legal wives at any one time. Apart from Muslim women, a Muslim man may choose to marry women following other religions who are free to practice their own religion, but a Muslim girl may be given in marriage only to another Muslim, and for her there must be no intermarriage of any sort.
When a man has more than one wife, he is supposed to divide his time equally between them and to treat them equally. A Muslim may divorce his wife at any time and for any reason.
Divorce usually causes great suffering to Muslim women today, even though polygamy is rarely practiced these days. This tradition came into practice when a Muslim man decided to marry another girl after his first wife bore him several children and became prematurely aged.
The divorced wife would be left with the only choice to return to her father and brothers and get remarried if the opportunity, however undesirable, presented itself.
Such cases are uncommon today. But it is not surprising that Muslim women have no sense of marital security, and normally feel more affinity for their blood relatives than their husbands.
The writer is currently working as the Vice-Secretary for Sustainable Education Group-Nepal (SEG-N) and is also involved as an English teacher and an editor for Writers’ Diary.
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