After spending four years at various American schools, my daughter had great trouble returning home last year. When my wife and I told her that we were moving back to Nepal, she vehemently resisted our decision. During her time in Nepal, she had developed an indelible impression of teacher brutality towards students. Ms. X in her former school in Nepal used to scold students bitterly and beat them up. Some teachers in the school used to bow to the principal with their head down. [break]
Her experience in US schools was different. A feudal-like behavior of teachers is a matter of disgust in American schools where the basic principles of democracy are taught right from the start of schooling. Students call their teachers by their names, like Mrs. More and Mr. James. In my daughter’s American school, every morning they hugged their teachers, chatted with them in a friendly manner and asked for excuse if they missed anything important.[break]
Abstaining from corporal punishment and encouraging kids to speak up their mind helps with their personality development and promotes a habit of expressing themselves uninhibited. But US school teachers also make it a point to teach every student to apologize if he or she does something wrong.
During her four years of schooling in the US, my daughter had developed a habit of talking freely with people around her and arguing rationally on issues of her interest. She used to ask questions until her curiosity was sated. Before we left the US, I encouraged my daughter to maintain her inquisitiveness and present herself in a friendly manner with her teachers and fellow students even when she got back to Nepal.
I asked my brother in Nepal to look for a school for our daughter. But every school he visited he got the same response that since there were no vacancies it was not possible to admit a new student. This is in comparison to the ease with which one can admit a child in a US school in the vicinity of one’s home. Back in Nepal, we were short on options. We thought of taking our daughter back to her previous school, an option she refused outright.
There was one other school that my brother had found out. He told us that we could even go visit the vice principal. I was happy we could at least see the vice principal in this school. In the previous school our daughter attended in Nepal, parents had no easy access to the principal or vice principal.
During our meeting with the vice principal at the new school, my daughter asked a simple question: ‘Are teachers mean here?’ The vice principal frowned. He might have slapped her if I was not there. However, he still yelled at her and loudly counteracted that teachers don’t come to school to be mean. My ten-year-old girl who had just returned from the US where kids love teachers more than parents and never like to miss their school because of friendly teachers looked at me with her red face. She didn’t have the courage to speak another word.
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We left the vice principal’s office in a somber mood. My daughter refused to come to the school again. But I had few options since it was already one month into the calendar year. It was hard for me and my wife to prepare our daughter for school next day. She was convinced only after I assured her that we could move back to the US after a few months if she really didn’t like her new school. She agreed.
When I came back home that night, I found my daughter a little sullen. Clearly, something was bothering her. She didn’t speak with anyone. When her mother took her to the kitchen for dinner, she sat in front of her food with her head down. Abruptly, she stood up, came over to me and slapped me on my face, for the very first time in her ten years of life. She asked me why I had decided to come back to Nepal and why I brought her back to the school environment where classrooms are no bigger than bed rooms, teachers are rude and students are made to carry heavy backpacks. I looked on in amazement, speechless.
Later, when she was a little relaxed, we gathered courage to ask her what had happened at school. Apparently, she had seen her some teachers hitting other kids.
Now after nearly a year of her Nepal stay, she seems to feel pretty good about her friends and relatives, and seems at home with Nepali culture and festivals. She is also okay about her school. But she is no more inquisitive. She doesn’t like putting forth her views in a straightforward manner. She reads others’ mood before speaking her mind, even at home.
The writer holds a PhD in Economics from Wayne State University, Michiga
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