Gorkhali brides better educated than grooms

DEHRADUN, Nov 25: Preeti Rana, 25, was doing her masters in English literature from DAV Post Graduate College in Dehradun when her parents fixed her marriage with Subash Thapa, who has completed only 8th grade.



Sounds a little odd, but educational disparity was not an issue for Rana, or for Thapa or their families. Relatives and friends joyfully attended their engagement and wedding two years ago and nobody raised an eyebrow over the groom´s educational status. [break]At least that is how Preeti feels.



“Here, this is just how it is. You do not get a highly educated groom in the Gorkhali community. Actually, it is an advantage if you are better educated than your groom as you often have the upper hand,” Preeti said, laughing.



Undoubtedly, Preeti is telling the truth. According to Govind Thapa, general secretary of the Gorkhali Sudhar Sabha (GSS), which has been working closely with the Nepali community here since its establishment in 1938, the educational disparity between the men and women is so huge that it is impossible to find grooms who are as well educated as the brides, unless they marry into some other community.



“And usually, Nepalis do not prefer to marry someone from any other caste or community,” Thapa said.



Thapa further explained that the core reason for boys scoring low in the education criteria is the army background of their families. “Irrespective of the posts of their fathers or uncles, whether their inspiration is an army officer or someone from the rank and file, the boys are fascinated by army life from early childhood. For boys from some other families, poverty compels them to seek work at an early age. This detracts them from their studies, unlike with the girls,” Thapa said.



“Earlier, someone who had passed 8th grade would be eligible for the Indian army and now it is 10th grade pass. So why would they study any further? Eventually, if they cannot join the army, they roam around and not take any interest in studies any more,” he added.



Due to low access to schools and colleges, the educational gap was not very pronounced in the past. Less educated husbands and better educated wives is the visible reality only in the newer generation, Thapa said.



“As per records at GSS, there are over 500,000 Nepalis in Dehradun, and while girls over 20 are normally college graduates, boys over 20 are hardly ever of highschool level.”



However, this does not seem to have made much difference to the social life of the people. “That is because educational level does not necessarily indicate the intellectual level of a student. Here, people give greater priority to a practical life, job security, family values and so on. Despite higher educational attainment than that of their husbands, the girls are equally home-oriented and put the family first,” Thapa said.





Preeti does not view things much differently from that. Already a mother of a daughter, the resident of Ranjahwala, Dehradun states that she was never looking for an equally or better educated man than herself.



“I only wanted a caring and loving husband who would bring home money doing some job or other and to some extent his looks would matter, and I am happy that he is a complete package,” she said while sipping coffee as her driver husband smiles and mops his taxi. “You think we arrange the matches? No, you would marry me no matter what I was like, you marry whoever you are destined to marry,” the husband replied.

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