I spent a good part of my adult life watching and re-watching all the six seasons of Sex and the City, yet I also read Voltaire, follow international politics and discuss it all with my girl gang. I can handle my drinks fine, but no, I don’t sip on cosmopolitans.[break]
My interests include Ducati, Hummer, Roger Federer, Kobe Bryant and Virat Kohli, but I also enjoy baking, shopping and gossiping.
I am on the sinking side of the 20s, independent, opinionated and still figuring out what I want to do with my life with no intention to “settle down;” maybe never, definitely not anytime soon.But I enjoy the dating scene mainly because if I don’t have a good time, I can afford to not offer to pay and get away with it!
Well, this is the urban girl of the twenty first century for you. We refuse to be stereotyped and shoved in a corner as mannequins men like to savor their eyes on.
We thrive on the attention but not let it get the better of us. It’s not about commitment but about companionship in a relationship, and we have no qualms throwing our hands up and walking out on you, just like you did us.
It hurts still and it ain’t revenge, it’s just the sense of power that comes from being a self-sufficient lot who value their peace of mind. We are sensitive, empathetic, caring, and yes, still believe in unconditional love. But we also demand a space of our own to grow as individuals to achieve goals we’ve set for ourselves.
I’m not trying to be the feminist male basher that I’m sure some of you have already made of me. Instead, the genesis of this post comes from the fact that even today I find quite a few guy friends and that too from the progressive world make inane jokes about clichéd female behavior like how presumably we can’t connect our TV to the DVD player or how we can’t buy cars, computers or anything considered masculine.
At home, I fix the fuse, connect cables, mend wires and I’m the first person to be approached for any gadget issues. No, I didn’t study engineering.
Another instance that I recently encountered with a dear guy friend was around the perception of women friendships. He’s a well educated, liberal man but I was appalled at his sheer lack of ignorance to the kind of bonds women are capable of sharing.
We were discussing a post by former Fulbright Scholar and graduate of Harvard University, Emily Rapp on Transformation and Transcendence: The Power of Female Friendship.
The essence of the post was this (I quote from the text): “Here’s the truth: friendships between women are often the deepest and most profound love stories, but they are often discussed as if they are ancillary, “bonus” relationships to the truly important ones. Women’s friendships outlast jobs, parents, husbands, boyfriends, lovers, and sometimes children.”
He rather overbearingly dismissed the proposition and elaborated on how women bitching about their close friends were the stuff of legend. I was disappointed in hearing that it came from him because he’s been around long enough to know that in every ‘weird’ experience (read: unhappy times, failures, fights, boyfriend issues) I’ve found myself (rest assured that there have been aplenty), it is from these women that I draw all my strength.
The closest and most meaningful relationships in my life are with women.
Yes, there are other friendships with women that have made me want to jump off a cliff but these oversimplified and generalized arguments where one woman you meet at the bar is the same as the one that sits next to you in class is the bane of every existence.
Having said that, I’m not denying that there are women who like to sit pretty and be taken care of. Even Marilyn Monroe, who is my hero for drawing the courage to unabashedly be the quintessential sex symbol, famously said, “I don’t mind living in a man’s world, as long as I can to be a woman in it.”
The inherent nature to typecast, however, is problematic. It’s been argued time and again that women are not a homogenous group. There is and should be scope for the ‘individual’ sans their gender identity, and that is my sheer motivation to write this post.
To be able to uphold your personality and not succumb to convention is what will make life worthwhile.
The end goal is to be happy in whatever we do wherever we are. If being an old maid but a global trotter experiencing different cultures, meeting new people and living life on the edge is what I want as a woman while a steady job, a future plan and a family to come back to is what rocks your boat, so be it!
The only common denominator between us is being a woman. We look through life with different lenses, and we wish to be respected for our contrasts.
The writer sometimes want to give it all up and be a nomad. Sometimes, she wants to pursue an MBA but most times, she’s just daydreaming about the travels, the love, the laughter and the dreams which we’re all after.
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