Who says we don't speak our minds?

This I write in serious reconsideration of what I wrote last week. Last week, I strongly felt that most people were cheats – nothing more than facile beings desperate to please others.



Today, I feel slightly different about the matter. Although I pretty much feel the same, I feel the need to reconsider parts of my theory.[break]



But before I tell you what the theory is, let me share with you what propelled me to rethink the whole thing.



I was passing through the hotel lobby when something caught my attention. “Can I tell you something? I think you have a very strong body odor and it’s giving me a headache.”

These were the precise words I overheard a girl use when she was addressing what I assume was her friend. That too in front of the numerous tourists gathered together to check in or check out of the hotel.



Ouch! Brutal, brutal indeed! The poor guy flushed and stood there, emasculated and enfeebled, I could see. At least by the looks of it, he seemed pretty humiliated. Why she chose that precise moment to be so blunt escapes me. Worse yet, there were people within hearing distance, so I would’ve thought that this little confrontation would’ve benefited if it were a little more cryptic. But no such thing in the land of the mercilessly bold, I guess.



On a similar note, I’ve been forced to reconsider my views, thanks to a pompous woman I know. She feels that the whole world reveres her and that she’s the most intellectual being on Earth. I feel that “pseudo intellectual” would be a much better word choice.



Judgments aside, she really is a bit conceited. Why I say this is simple.



There we were sitting in a big group, hoping to do some teamwork and help each other out. And there, this woman was hoping that all we would do was admire her and compliment her, and her alone. When she had had enough, she got up in front of the entire team and said, “I think I should lead the group discussion. I mean, after all, I’m a much better speaker than all of you.”



But was she really? I think you already know my answer.



A third example of why I need to reevaluate my views comes from my own case. Now look at me, being all judgmental and writing against that unabashed girlfriend or that imperious woman.



Sometimes I get so carried away with the whole “speak your mind” thing that I barely realize the wonders a little white lie can do for me. Moreover, I have also encountered many people who are often so forthright that I feel the urge to stop them and say, “Please, I don’t want to hear what you have to say.”



It can, on the other hand, be argued that such people, including myself, are merely being honest, merely speaking their minds. And if such people are doing precisely what I urged everyone to do in my last article, then maybe it’s not such a bad thing after all.



And this is where my modified theory comes in. People seem to be bold for all the wrong reasons.



Humiliating a friend in public doesn’t make you lionhearted; it makes you impudent. Making others around you feel inferior proves that you’re superior; it merely proves that you’re full of yourself. Judging others on vain pretences doesn’t show that you’re exercising your right to “freedom to speech.”



So I think that when it comes to frivolous matters, we all have opinions and aren’t afraid to share it. However, the minute the conversation takes a turn for the deeper level of things, for things that can make a difference, we all choose to shut up and let others do all the talking. For things that matter, we never really take it on ourselves to be sincere or true to ourselves: we just go with the majority.



So what good is being bold when we can’t channel it where it’s most required? What good is courage and valor if we don’t speak up for things that matter the most?

Yes, you might not agree with me; and yes, you might think that I’m being unreasonable in my claims. But what good is reason if it stops us from speaking up for the most important things?



And again, we come to the same chain of insincerity being drilled into our humankind.



Although I did choose to modify my theory and claim that people do speak their minds oftentimes, I think it’ll be worthwhile to ponder over how valuable this kind of genuineness is, to ask ourselves: Do we really speak our minds when it’s needed the most?



Ayushma Basnyat is a student of Political Science at Thammasat University who enjoys exploring life and all that it has to offer.

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