One question, in particular, that captured my interest came from a cousin in Singapore. He asked, “So Suman, now that you are an American citizen, what are you going to do with your Nepali passport?” I hadn’t quite thought about that. His question did take me seven years back when I had to practically spend two days in sweltering heat to obtain the passport because I was determined to not bribe anyone.
After a little thought, I replied to my cousin, “I’m going to send my passport to the Nepali government as an early Christmas gift.” Both of us laughed.
He then continued on to tell me something that struck me with a mixture of amusement and disappointment: “I’ve heard that they ‘tear the ears’ (cut it distinctively on the sides) of your passport once you are no longer a citizen.”
I partially questioned the legitimacy of his remark, but felt a little upset in case what he said was indeed true. I replied, “My passport, in a real sense, is emblematic of my risk, hardship, and struggles as an international student, and I’m not giving it away to anyone to desecrate it unless I’m required to by the law.”
In a humorous exchange, I reminded him that it had long been my ambition to obtain American citizenship. Now that I’m one, I added, my new goal was to be a Nepali citizen. All joking aside, my feelings were partly a reflection of an ongoing frustration over Nepal’s undue hesitation to institute dual citizenship in legislation.
America presents an opportunity to explore and achieve your dreams. This is not just a lofty rhetoric, and people that have migrated here from various continents in various stages of history have proven that. Many hardworking immigrants have been able to climb the ladder of financial and social mobility quickly, and have been able to uplift the quality of their lives as well as provide better opportunities to their children. Millions have flocked to this nation in quest of freedom from political persecution, and to put an end to the severe conditions of life in their countries of origin. America is a promise of resounding victory to those who can show sincere diligence.
This country also has a fair share of social problems, especially, in the aftermath of Sept 11. Many immigrants have been racially profiled, unnecessarily interrogated and have been the targets of unwarranted discrimination. This is an unfortunate reality and has been the subject of hot controversy in recent times. But like every society, this nation has been evolving from its experiences. All things considered, the culture of democracy that this nation has to offer is still unparalleled.
On the flip side, the unsettling sense of detachment from Nepal troubles me. Am I not a Nepali anymore, just because the Nepali law refuses to recognize me as one? Do I not have any relationship with the very roots that literally nourished my existence on this earth and still, though transplanted, sustain the substance of who I am in the world, and what will maintain my sense of esteem as long as I walk the earth, regardless of the continent or acquired political accouterments? Did I lose my ties with the bricks that built the foundation of my character, overnight? Are the delicate threads interwoven in the fabric of my beautiful memories no longer real?
I came to the US seven years ago as a Nepali citizen and, as it stands, I will be going back as an American. As far as I’m concerned, I could set my feet at my home village in Jhapa and comfortably traverse every street barefooted sniffing the freshness of the soil that has irrigated my soul. I could still run around blindfolded counting the 22 Kimbu trees around my old house effortlessly, without missing a single one.
I could still sit at the front porch with my grandma listening to her stories that continue to color my imagination. I could still joyfully listen to the private and mysterious conversation of the gruffy goats in the backyard. The drops of monsoon that would soak me while I would battle the puddle of the paddy field as a kid would continue to caress my Nepali conscience.
The legitimacy of my sentiments is innate, and no one can rob it off from me. The legacy of bravery and courage that I inherit from the Nepali history isn’t one that can be traded like a fish in the market. The purity of the Buddha’s message continues to touch my humanity and reverberate across my soul. Someday, as an electrical engineer, I think of being a part of an infrastructure that will electrify the entire nation. And, this thought has just electrified my consciousness. Suddenly, I feel I have become more Nepali than ever before. The Nepali spirit that resides within me now is something no legislation can offer.
nepalese.factor@gmail.com
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