“It has become very difficult to convince my wife,” said Dev, who works as a night guard in Cruise Aids, run by Blue Diamond Society. [break]
“As soon as I arrange Rs 600,000, I will go for a test tube baby. Or else, I will try adoption. My wife is quite desperate for a baby and she does not want to wait longer,” he added.
Similarly, Apechya Dahal, 18 and Sudip Gautam, 19, originally from Hetaunda, had consumed poison when their families tried to separate them two years ago.
“Our story is like we overcame even death to be with each other,” said Apechya. “Yes, we are very happy otherwise, but one thing that extremely bothers us is the issue of child,” she added. Dahal revealed that she and Sudip (who is a girl biologically and taken as so in school) were in love from school days. “We had vowed to live and die together,” she said.
The issue of having children is not bothersome for these two couples alone. In fact, it is common among the same sex couples. According to them, one of the most difficult situations in life is wanting to have a biological or even adopted child and not being able to have one. While it is just impossible for them to have a biological child, their weak financial condition restricts their power to go for an adopted child as well.
Agrees Ankit Paudel, who married Radhika (names changed) four years ago. The couple originally from Chitwan wanted to have a baby girl. Biologically, both of them are males and they have no choice but to go for adoption. “But none of us have a proper job to support a bigger family,” said the couple. “If we were able to have a biological child, our financial condition would not matter that much,” added Ankit. The couple works at Blue Diomond Society.
A senior staff at BDS Badri Pun Magar added that he too is quite worried about his wife Teju Adhikari as she keeps insisting for a child. "I feel so sad that I cannot make my wife pregnant no matter how much I feel like a man and act as one,” he said. Sadder part is that Badri is not comfortable with having a test tube baby either as the sperm would be provided by an outsider. “I would be very happy if the baby would look like me or my wife. But then, somebody else´s sperm might not let that happen,” he shared.
While there are a number of such couples who are desperate to have a baby, either adopted or through the test-tube technology, already blessed with a daughter are Milan and Nirmala Sharma, from Chitwan. According to Badri, in context of Nepal, they must be considered very lucky as the couple has been well accepted and supported by their families and their decision to adopt a daughter was welcomed, too. “In my knowledge that is the only couple to have adopted a baby so far,” he added.
Talking to Republica over phone, Milan said that their life changed a lot for good after adopting daughter Minisha. “Entire atmosphere at home changed after she joined us. She calls me baba and her mother mama, she is such a chatterbox,” he said. “She is a very smart and lovely child, I am sure her future is very bright,” he added. Milan and Nirmala are women biologically.
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