Our country has an equally large number of sexual harassment cases. I choose not to quote a number since it won’t represent the ´actual´ number of cases, for reasons like "Naam badnaam hunchha" are used to suppress the anger and disgust the victims face while the accused roam around hunting for their next prey. Besides, it´s not just rape that’s a sexual offense. Leering, stalking, whistling and casual brushing against women are barely spoken about but its eerie presence is felt in some form or another by most women.
A friend of mine was butt-slapped in broad daylight in Thamel. I plug in earphones while walking out to ward off snide comments because I´m tired of retaliating and glaring. Even the police ogle at us for either the way we dress, for how late in the evening we stay out, or at times they stare just because they can. Why should women have to be "strong" or armed with pepper spray to be able to go about their lives normally in these cities?
I agree that with freedom comes responsibility and that with more women entering the workforce and becoming independent, working late hours, they must take measures to remain safe. But these must be the same measures that men adopt.
My fundamental question is why does the definition of ´safety´ change when it comes to women? Getting home at a ´safe´ time, dressing in an ´appropriate´ way, or for that matter, traveling with a male friend/relative to avoid harassment. Why are we still expecting men to assume the role of "protectors"?
It’s not the solution but the very root of the problem. If women are enraged today and are protesting for the accused to be hanged or publicly flogged and castrated, it’s not only to enforce proper law and order or redefine the severity of punishment for rapists but also to ask their immediate society why their freedom to live without fear is curbed, and what measures are being taken to prevent, not just punish, such ghastly acts.
The need of the hour is of course to have more stringent laws. But implementation is also a key issue. Most rape cases aren’t reported; one, for the shame it ironically brings to the victims´ families, and two, even when women gather the courage, they are dissuaded by the very people who are the supposed protectors of the law of the land – the police.
They need to be sensitized, absolutely, but what about the perpetrators, too? How can we create an environment where women can naturally feel safe, like most men do?
I believe that the answer lies in how we groom and coach our children. Gender sensitization should begin at home. Girls, admittedly notwithstanding myself, have been instilled with the fear that if we’re out late, we’re at fault and asking for trouble. That is, if I dress a certain way, I’m inviting men to come after me. This kind of fear-mongering is detrimental to the psyche of both young girls and boys, leading boys to unconsciously develop a sense of unspoken superiority at an early stage in life.
If we analyze harassment cases, these aren’t so because a man is terribly attracted to a girl or is trying to woo her with his whistling. In most instances, it´s the kick these obnoxious goons get out of exercising their perceived dominance over the "weaker" sex. It´s not a stretch of imagination to say that we still haven´t given up some regressive practices that have encumbered our past.
Each of us must resolve and lead by example to educate our kids, not just on paper but in practice, to respect and value each other as equal in all respects. Simultaneously, the mindset of the society at large needs to understand that women who are raped mustn’t be made to feel ashamed or subjected to being social outcasts; rather, they need to be taken care of and given proper medical and psychological assistance to move on in life with their heads held high.
Delhi right now is on the edge of political paralysis. Leaders are dumbfounded by the public anger spewed across all quarters: social media, press and TV.
As young change makers and prospective future leaders, we should learn our lesson from this example and must take it upon ourselves to sensitize our children and the society towards respecting, and not objectifying women, to promoting human worth and dignity over segregation and marginalization.
While I´m flummoxed by what has transpired and how the national Indian leadership has responded – with little compassion and more rhetoric – my appeal to all of us is to wake up, to rise above our stereotypes, to shake off our inherent inertia to change and to revisit the principles we want our future generations to imbibe.
The writer can be reached at prianka_rauniyar@yahoo.com
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