“The perception that a good student has to study science and become a doctor or an engineer is still prevalent in our society but that’s slowly changing as more students take up commerce and arts,” says Kritica adding that when she didn’t go on to become a doctor, like everybody presumed she would, many gossiped about what must have gone wrong with such a bright girl.
Many students these days don’t opt to pursue science after their +2 or intermediate even if they take up the subject after SLC. Choosing to study science is a safe bet for those who are freshly out of school as they have the option to switch to commerce or arts later on.
“I think for a generation that’s inherently confused, having a base in science always helps,” says Kritica adding that you can always take up other subjects later on if you find that science is not your forte but the same option doesn’t hold if you take up commerce or arts during your intermediate studies.
Manisha Shrestha, 19, a Mass Communications student agrees with Kritica and says that was the main reason why she opted to study science during her +2 knowing full well that she wanted to take up journalism during college.
“It was a just-in-case-I-change-my-mind scenario. What if after a year of studying arts I’d suddenly want to study medicine like my family always thought I should? So, I took up science just to be on the safe side,” says Manisha who used to top her class all throughout school.
Her decision to not join any medical entrance preparatory classes after her +2 exams came as a shock to many of her teachers and relatives who had assumed the likely path for this achiever would be the one that ultimately led to strapping a stethoscope around her neck.
“Manisha’s decision to not study medicine surprised me. I’d always thought she would do extremely well in that field since she showed such aptitude for science,” says her mother, Chandani Shrestha who had to face a barrage of questions from well meaning friends and relatives about Manisha’s decision to study mass communications.
It’s the parents who, more often than not, decide what their children study in college. While more young people are telling their parents that they want to study subjects other than medicine and engineering, because parents pay for college, and because they know better, they continue to call the shots.
Adhikar KC, 18, who recently passed his CBSE exams with flying colors, had decided to study law. This decision of his brought about serious complications at home, says the visibly frustrated eighteen-year-old.
“My parents want me to study engineering and are practically forcing me to prepare for the entrance exams,” says Adhikar adding that he always wanted to become a criminal defense lawyer and his parents knew about it. But all that changed when Adhikar got good grades on his SLC and the recent CBSE exams.
“Now, they think I can do better than become a lawyer,” he says with an exasperated sigh.
It’s hard to see anything wrong with wanting your child to become a doctor or software engineer. After all, these professions are prestigious and high-paying. But according to many students, parents can put too much emphasis on job security over personal fulfillment. This can be very stressful for those want to do something else with their lives.
Psychologist Dipika Tiwari says the pressure put by parents, relatives and teachers on students who do well to take up apparently “difficult subjects” like medicine and engineering takes its toll on students. Some choose to pursue courses they have no interest in, purely out of guilt or a sense of obligation, and as a result might end up having depressive spells.
“I’ve seen quite a few cases where people have been forced to study something when they actually wanted to study something else. Now after completing their studies, they’re depressed and need counseling,” says Tiwari.
Tiwari gives an instance of a medical student who was forced to take up medicine by his parents and ended up dropping out of college in the final year. “He just couldn’t continue studying something he had no aptitude for. Now he’s completely lost. He feels it’s too late to take up another course and is severely depressed,” explains Tiwari adding that this particular person has admitted to having suicidal thoughts.
Manisha also admits that a friend of hers committed suicide during her first year at a Medical College in India.
“This friend of mine from school wanted to study commerce but her parents literally forced her into studying medicine and got her enrolled in a reputed and expensive college in India,” she says. According to Manisha, her friend was very sad and depressed and after four months of studying a subject she wasn’t interested in, she committed suicide.
Inability to communicate with parents coupled with the fear of being judged leads to many students choosing subjects they would much rather not take up if they could. Many students also admit to taking up medicine or engineering because, at school and as well as among family and friends, the ‘best’ students were expected to take up those subjects. Doing otherwise, like taking up arts and social sciences, was considered imprudent and thus there was, in fact, considerable pressure to reject arts and social sciences.
“It’s always best to study what you want to rather than try to fit into the stereotypical notion. You’ll be happier and do well in life that way,” says Tiwari adding that sticking with something when you know your heart’s not in it will only do you harm in the long run.
“Students need to be sure of their decisions and parents need to understand that excellence doesn’t have to be equated to being a “doctor” or an “engineer” and that just because your child was a good student doesn’t mean his fate is sealed,” she adds.
With more and more students deciding to take up courses in commerce and arts in college, it seems like a wave of change is upcoming. Though thousands of students still sit for medical and engineering entrance exams every year, there seem to be some who, despite being good students all their life, don’t want to tread that path just to follow the “norm.”
“If studying medicine or engineering is what you really want, then by all means go ahead. But if your priorities and ambitions are different then there’s nothing to be ashamed of either,” says Kritica who firmly believes that people can only do well in life when it’s their interests that map out their careers.
cillakhatry@gmail.com
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