Do they sit down punching calculators all day or do they just come up with random numbers like the hakim saheb’s weight? He must be losing weight every week thanks to Ram Dev’s yoga hola! [break]
So what will you do with the extra batti? Watch TV shows you missed out on this past winter? Micro-wave left-overs in the middle of the night for a midnight snack? Play poker on facebook till wee hours?
Well, the Bandh season now seems to be in full-swing. Thanks to the Newari-Tamang combo platter for starting the season with a ‘Kathmandu’ Bandh. And the Brahmins were busy with their walkathon and ‘meet and greet the CDO’ holy cow act in Biratnagar.
Now, it’s the Chhetris and their ‘bandh’ programs in parts of western Nepal.
So who’s next? Can you all please coordinate and give us your performance dates a week in advance? At least we can be prepared and plan our schedule around your ‘tyre-burning, vehicle-smashing, stone-hurling’ festivals ni!
So does this mean that we won’t be getting a million tourists for NTY 2011? Now we will all have to band together to organize a bandh to end all bandhs hola! Instead of closing down factories, schools, and banning all vehicles from the road, we can help keep the economy moving by organizing street festivals in our toles!
Yes, chicken drumsticks, fried sausages and aloos seem to sell very well during these festivals. And our kuirey volunteers and expats can also sell their mountain bikes, iMacs and all their used stuff before heading home.
Come monsoon, our streets will be flooded because our municipality clowns don’t have the brains to come up with drains. But we can promote NTY 2011, by organizing kayaking for the tourists on the streets of Kathmandu. I guess we will also need to start a ferry service for us locals once monsoon creates havoc and our streets turn into mini-rivers!
Our great Mao-buddies are hosting an ‘Anti-Imperialist’ conference in November and they are expecting communists from all around the world rey! Nepal Tourism Board should start promoting NTY 2011 in Cuba, North Korea, Venezuela and Iran!
I think we can get a million bideshi communists during November alone and they can also learn how to burn tyres and shut down their cities by going on field-visits around Nepal! Libya would have been the main (financial) sponsor but looks like Gaddafi won’t last till November.
Our Prime-Monster’s first foreign trip has given us an insight into his culinary taste. He likes shish-kebabs more than the usual dosa-papadum and dim-sums! Or maybe the Chinese and the Desis know that Jhallu’s tenure will end before the monsoon season.
Well, Jhallu Baba had to cut his visit to Turkey short and hurry back home because our communists were busy with their secret meetings. Our media should be awarded the ‘best journalists’ in the world prize or something; they seem to find out where these secret meetings are held and who are participating even before our netas get the invite!
Thank God Obama doesn’t have to deal with the Nepali media. Bin Laden would have found out that they were coming for him if he had hidden in Kathmandu.
And our foreign mini-sinister Upey (it’s pronounced the same way as Turkey) is still hanging out in Istanbul, drinking Turkish coffee and enjoying his Turkish bath.
Hope he also learns a few Turkish dance steps as well and can demonstrate his skills in Rangasala once he gets back. That would be a more creative fund raising program for his party instead of begging Delhi for money!
And once again, Nepal police has decided to go after criminals by raiding dance bars, massage parlors, casinos and so-called immoral places. I guess it’s time for our ‘immoral’ business-wallahs to renew their ‘moral’ license by paying off the police-wallahs.
If our ‘moral’ police really want to teach our crooks about moral science then they should instead raid the holy abodes of our great leaders where all our gangsters seem to be hiding. But who are we kidding? Nepal police is a private security firm, paid for by our taxpayers to provide security for our clowns and their chamchas!
And UML (Unidentified Moronic Losers) wins the award for having most of our KTM gangsters as ‘Youth Force’ heads in their local areas. And gangster ‘Chari’ aka ‘Bird’ has once again won a ‘ Get out of Jail Free’ card because he heads the ‘Youth Force’ in his gaun and our great communist leaders really like his sword-fighting and tender-grabbing skills rey!
Guffadi blogs at www.guffadi.blogspot.com
Related story
Pahenlo Batti Muni enthralls the audience with their soulful mu...
