- Trisa
What would you do if it didn’t matter what your friends said about this guy? What would you do if it didn’t matter what he asked you, or didn’t ask you? What would you do? Would you want to like him? Would you consider being in love or would you want him to be the one? If not, why bother? Why bother about him or your friends. Not every journey has a destination. If sharing few moments of your life with him adds some happiness in your life, then why bother taking it further than it needs to. Just live this day, love this moment.
There is this boy who I liked and he liked me too but I dumped him a few months back and I felt terrible. Now I am back with him but every time I go out with him, I am confused and upset again. What’s happening to me really? HELP!
- Confused
When we fall in love, the most amazing thing that happens is that we begin to realize who we are. We learn things about ourselves that we never knew existed within us. When we fall in love, we evolve, and sometimes in the process of evolving, we realize that what we thought was love wasn’t love to begin with. Then we feel guilty, because we think when we offered someone our love, we gave a lifelong guarantee along with it. In our heart we know, we have changed and we can no longer feel the same way. Yet that guilt pushes us back to the street we no longer belong to. Then we pretend as if pretending will make the numb heart feel alive. Love ends, but we hold on to each other because the idea of ‘separation’ is painful. Yet somewhere deep in our heart, we know, we’d both be better off if we moved on to different lanes to meet our individual destinies.
My girlfriend used to diet a lot and still does. She’s thin as ever but still doesn’t eat healthy. And now she’s joined yoga and aerobics. How can I convince her?
- Prasun
If you are convinced that your girlfriend’s dieting is unhealthy and there is a persistent obsession about weight and body image, she could be heading towards serious eating disorder - anorexia. Please read some online resource on anorexia. Most often eating disorders are about compensating some other emotional and psychological needs – things like depression, loneliness, insecurity, pressure to be perfect, or feeling out of control. Being able to get her to admit that she has a problem and consulting a nutritionist to bring her back to healthy living, and getting psychological counseling and therapy, is easier said than done. Desire for change and treatment has to be driven by her. There is very little you can do. Yet, you can acknowledge that her problems are deeper and she needs care, support, and understanding. The last thing she needs is people to judge her, or to try control her life. Express how concerned you are and support her to work through her inner turmoil. If untreated, eating disorder could have serious health risks.
I have been talking to this guy over SMS for some time. He’s a friend’s friend. Do you think I need to take permission from my friend to meet him or ask him out?
- Sheetal
Love is complicated, but I think friendship is the most complicated human relationship. Expectations in friendships are so unclear. You never know what’s going to make them upset and what’s going to completely set them on fire. Additionally, each of our friends is so different from another - our relationship and our level of comfort varies. There’s no law that says that you have to take permission from your friend to date their friend without telling them. There’s no moral code as far as I know. But to every action there is a reaction. What would your friend’s reaction be? Would she even care that you guys met? Would you be able to gossip and laugh it off with your friend or will it seriously jeopardize your friendship? Which one do you value more?
Swastika Shrestha is the founder of Anuvuti – a social enterprise that engages young people in service-learning. She has been coaching and mentoring young people in different capacities for over a decade.
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