She fears husband's martyrdom might prove meaningless

BANEPA, April 12: He had returned home on March 3, 2006 to observe mother´s death anniversary. During his stay, we made up our minds to shift our two sons -- Dinesh and Bibek -- to a better school in the new academic session. He stayed for two days and went back to Pokhara on March 5. It was the twelfth year of our marriage.

Related story: First martyr

I rang him up on March 28 to inform him that our children´s annual exams were over. That conversation was our last. [break]

I was living in Nala, Kavre, engaged in agriculture. It was the weeding season for growing potatoes. I could see villagers leave for Banepa and Dhulikhel to participate in demonstrations. The whole country was gripped by the movement. I was more interested in knowing about the goings-on in Pokhara as he was there. A younger brother was also in Pokhara.

I left for the field on April 8 when brother called up from Pokhara to inform that my husband had been shot. Villagers relayed the information to me. I lost consciousness even before asking how it happened.

The next day, his body was brought to Mahadevsthan near our village by a helicopter. Village women took me there. I saw him for the last time and again lost consciousness.

He had promised to come back home later in April and enroll our sons in a better school. How could have my sons felt setting alight their father´s funeral pyre at ages when they should have cuddled up in their father´s lap.

I will never be able to forget the day -- April 8, 2006. Residents of Pokhara declared him the first martyr of the movement.

Four years have passed since he attained martyrdom. The sacrifices he and many other martyrs made turned Nepal into a republic. I had hoped that the sacrifices would bring peace, progress and happiness to the country. But I am dejected now.

People participated in the movement without fearing for their lives. The movement would not have been successful had the people not joined in.

Losing a loved one leaves a deep and incurable wound in one´s heart. Lasting peace and welfare could have contributed to putting balm on the wound to some extent. But all political parties are interested in making or breaking governments. Constitution by the set deadline is unlikely.

I am nursing a personal wound caused by the death of my husband. But what is happening in the country has only compounded my suffering.

It is an insult upon martyrs if their family members have to always nudge the political parties to move on. If the leaders do not wake up, what will the martyrdom of my husband mean?

(Based on conversation with Madhusudan Guragain)