Vaidya´s circumstances were no different from that of any average mother. The 50-year-old was aware of the prevalence of child sex abuse at home and society. Unlike majority of Nepali mothers, Vaidya, a resident of Pulchowk, always openly talked about and guided her daughter about relationships, sex and abuses. [break]
“When she needed baby sitting, I would not leave her under anyone´s care other than my mother even as I went out for work,” reminisces the government employee at Maternity Hospital.
“Later, according to her age and level of understanding I made her aware of the prevalence of sexual abuse in society and ways to counter it. And that really helped my baby,” Vaidya said, adding that her daughter has gone abroad for higher studies a year ago.
A bold and brave mother like Vaidya was a rarity back in those days and mothers of her ilk are still an exception. Rama Sharma, a mother of three from Kalanki, for instance, never imagined that her school-going daughters could ever be victims of sexual abuse.
But then one day her second daughter, a fifth-grader, complained rather belatedly about her teacher molesting her twice during the break time. “By the time she had told me about it, the teacher had already left the school, so we could not take any action against him,” said Sharma, a housewife.
The incident was an eye-opener for Sharma. “The least I could do was to break the silence and make the girls aware about sexual abuse.”
There has been a gradual rise in the number of mothers who deem it necessary to tell their children, basically girls, about sexual matters, notes a senior Kathmandu-based counselor Neeru Baral. “I have dealt with cases of sexual abuse. The real problem lies in the family environment where the victims cannot speak up openly about their problems,” Baral states.
“However, over the years things have changed a bit and the new-generation mothers, basically the educated lot, are aware of the issue.
The new-generation kids have also become more frank and less submissive unlike in the past,” she adds. Shila Thapa of Naikap literally had a fight with a close relative after she spotted him ill-treating her 10-year-old daughter. “From that day on, I began to tell my child about sexual abuses,” she reveals.
Baral says the new generation of mothers and daughters are now coming to her before much harm is done. In her ´Samyak Jeevan Dhara´ counseling center, Baral receives around eight cases of sexual abuse every month.
The number of cases she handles in Campion College and School, as a counselor, is rather high with most of them originating at home. Baral reveals that tackling child sexual abuse legally is very difficult with penalty only for incest. “Nowadays the mothers at least try to understand the problem and help their daughters. They try to fill the generation gap and help their daughters cope with psychological problems,” she says.
According to Dr Aruna Upreti, founder of Rural Health and Education Services Trust, who is consistently writing on the issue of child sex abuse, the problem is rampant across the country. A lot still needs to be done, she adds.
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