I remember my childhood vividly; I'd play games, find joy in little things, nurture great aspirations and dreams, and easily get away with my mistakes. I had no worries about the world, didn't care about how I looked, and never bothered about people's comments. I never cared about anything in life. There was always someone to take care of my needs and fulfill my wishes. Everything was magical, and pleasant.And then I grew up, and life is no more the same. I've now realized that life is all about fulfilling one's responsibilities and obligations. It's about turning up my assignments on time and tackling with my grades, arguing with my parents and making sure my friends don't leave me.
The world that I live in is getting colder every other day. People who loved and pampered me silly when I was a child now point out at my flaws at every possible chance. I'm constantly trying to fit in to the standards set up by the society, every other day forgetting who I really am. I don't know who my true friends are, and I'm not sure who I can trust. I've been taught and conditioned to believe that trusting people can be dangerous. The more I grow up, the more uncertain I become about myself and people around me.
People expect me to change with time, too. They expect me to gradually build a world of my own. They expect me to deal with all of my complex emotions on my own. Crying in front of my loved ones when I'm sad, cuddling with my mom when I'm lonely, or playing with my dad when I'm happy—these are no longer allowed. They don't suit a grown up, they say. All I can do now is drown myself in nostalgia of my glorious past.
If only I had the power to go back in time, I would relive my childhood to the fullest. Unfortunately, time waits for none. Once it slips, it slips. But thankfully, we all have memories to hang on to. What else can we do?
Aishwarya is an A-Levels graduate from Chelsea International Academy in New Baneshwar, Kathmandu.
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