This Dashain was different in many ways. It was abnormal, perhaps even confusing.
There was never a Dashain when I spent more time staring at my cell phone than playing cards. It was not that I hadn't had enough of Facebook. Just that there was so much time in hand that I could manage everything and yet take out time to check how things have been on the southern side of the country. Checking news events was involuntary. Somehow my subconscious would be busy. It may seem like a bit distant now but that was a time every Nepali was busy taking the count of tankers coming in. It was amazing to see that people not only followed events on the border but kept up with the exact count of tankers and border posts that were open. This was one reason that made this Dashain different.Never before had I put in so much effort to understand Indo-Nepal relations. Articles and comments from not just prominent Nepalis who have some authority to speak on the diplomatic ties of two countries but also from eminent Indians like Shashi Tharoor, S D Muni, and yet nothing was clear. Perhaps we were just trying to kill time while checking if IOC had resumed supplies. I would not have known much about the strained bilateral relationships had the crisis not been this long. Nonetheless, the sad part is that after having scoured every piece of writing on Indian diplomacy I am still clueless as to what exactly triggered the blockade. How nice it would be if the government put up a notice saying this is what India wants!
Dashain, being the festival it is, demanded a lot of activity. One must appreciate how this particular festival manages to excite both the old and the young alike. The excitement includes a lot of going around: shopping for a lot of stuff including a live animal. These activities set Dashain alive; makes it fun. Given that mobility was highly impacted, one had difficulty keeping alive the fun. This was a different and difficult Dashain.
Looking back it seems there was a general sense of optimism even when the news of the blockade first hit us. We thought that with Dashain approaching fast, things would settle down. After all it was impossible for us to imagine someone like Modi, who charmed us all both out in the streets and inside the parliament, would stop us from celebrating one of the biggest Hindu festivals. He was too nice a man to do us any bad. The image of him doing the puja at Pashupati was fresh in our memories. He was the most powerful Hindu around and hence we all thought that things would be all right. This was the time while he was having his town hall meeting with Zuckerberg. We continue to give the benefit of doubt to Modi, believing that once he got back from the US regular supplies would resume and we would have regular Dashain.
Nothing of what we expected happened. We do not know what happened. We could neither believe what the deputy had to say nor dismiss him completely. That was probably the first time the sense of 'helplessness' caught us.
Just about then the euphoria of patriotism was beginning to bite us. We all cheered when Prachanda shouted from the Tudikhel, perhaps a perfect place to shout from, that he would cycle but not bow. It's amazing how after that big headline he has not said much on the blockade. In certain ways one can attribute the blockade solely to Prachanda, for had it not been for him we would not be talking constitution. However, everything that has happened ever since we got our constitution continues to baffle. Pranchanda's gone quiet. I don't see him on the road cycling. Maybe his mobility too has been impacted and hence he is within the confines of his house.
It's sad to see him go completely silent on this issue whose damage, arguably, is greater than that caused by the mega quake. One can understand even the firebrand premier going silent. We would like to believe that there is no position he risks losing. For more than a decade it's always been his speeches that baffled us and now it's the silence that is baffling!
On the scheme of things trying to isolate Prachanda alone would not be fair.
The last fortnight has obviously been about the blockade but in between we saw something equally inexplicable. It may not be hard to fathom why the grand old man did not resign as the premier even after delivering the historic constitution. If recent news are to be believed, one can't understand how the person could get so carried away by fortunetellers. It seems everyone knew it was a losing battle.
This Dashain in a way was special too. Even though the rituals were not modified, we did spend hours talking about Modi. This is perhaps the first time where an entire festival has gone by taking the name of Modi. Ideally you chant names of gods and goddesses in such festivals.
At the core of things, this Dashain perhaps symbolized total confusion. We knew we had to go visit our elders for tika and but were not sure whom to go to and whom to leave out. In places where we ventured, it was all about Modi, India and the blockade. The usual Dashain conversation where we would ask each other about what happened in the year gone by were totally hijacked by how to cook stuffs in a rice cooker! Perhaps the standout conversation this Dashain was the one when one of my relatives mentioned the quality of the Chinese petrol and expressed reservations about using it for his bike. It was a brand new one, one purchased for Dashain. Someone else quipped that it's got to be either all Indian or Chinese, but never a mixture.
To sum up, right from day one there has never been a moment when one knew what exactly happened, at least, officially. We really do not know what exactly irked Modi. Why are the Madheshi parties getting away telling a blatant lie that they are ones behind the blockade? Why do we still refrain from saying that it's an official blockade? What's in store for tihar?
It's all too confusing.
hiteshkarki@gmail.com
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